I’ve been planning on doing a reflection & I kept putting it off, but I think now is the perfect time to finally do it. 2010 was a craycray year filled with many lessons, tears, laughs, opportunities, and overall just crazy memories. I don’t think I’ve experienced so many things in just one jam-packed year. People often say “Oh, what an unforgettable year, blahblahblah” but without a doubt this year has proved to be the turning point in my life (not only because I turned the age of 18) because of all the lessons and things that I’ve realized. So many different things occurred I don’t even know where to begin. I love how I can remember such precise incidents during every month in great detail. The first few months were definitely the down parts and turning points, but life got a whole lot better after wards.
January: January consisted of my brother’s birthday party. Jake getting drunk with my family, while I was sober. This showed me how much my family accepted him despite the incidents that they knew occurred. The biggest memory of January was the college talk with my parents, on if I wanted to just go to community or any of the universities I was accepted into, and if I’d commute or dorm. The college talk also occurred with Jake. We decided to try the being friends thing… which probably turned out to be the biggest mistake we ever did for our relationship. I now think that was just an excuse to call it quits, but I was naive so whatevz. I got my car towards the end of the month as an early birthday present. Overall I rate January a 6/10.
February: Eighteenth birthday. The day of my birthday Jake and I fought over a ‘Happy Birthday’ text I received from Brian. Ugh. I got red velvet cake and flowers and a Tiffany necklace from him.. and we watched Legion. My birthday dinner the next day was probably worse. Got in a bigger fight and ended up crying and running to the bathroom while at the restaurant. I bet it was awkward for all our friends that were there. Got over it. Gosh darn I was an emotional wreck. We would fight everyday this month I believe. Valentine’s day. Pillow fight in SF just like the year before, but things were just not the same. The rest of February was spent questioning why I felt so insecure and unhappy. I was at my lowest at this point. The constant fighting and bickering got to me. I was happy with him, but at the same time I was unhappy. Powderpuff planning. Working on my senior project. My mind was just too occupied with the monsters inside me. End of February we broke up. It was a horrible break up because we constantly kept coming back to each other but thank goodness I finally realized that was not healthy for the both of us. February was the lowest part of my year, and perhaps even life. I rate it a 3/10.
March: I became selfish. I put myself before anything else, finally. Got accepted into SJSU. A week after our break up I saw Jake with another girl. I was in denial, but at some point it hit me, and I just continued to try to move on with my life. Rico and I did the funniest things to help ourselves feel better. Now that I think about it, we were such fools.. but I guess that’s what love does. I remember most of March being spent at Aber’s house with the rest of our friends playing games and just watching tv being random. I couldn’t stand being at home. I always had to be out. First time at the club with Wiston, Debbie, and Jose. It wasn’t really my scene. Jamie’s cotillion, which was like sneak preview of Senior Prom. I think that was like the last time we were all together with it being normal-ish. Random Taco Bell runs, leadership shit. March was half and half. I say a 5/10.
April: Spring break visited San Jose with the friendzies. First time eating the burritozilla at Iguanas. The next day we spontaneously went to the snow. It was fun. Spending time with friends definitely kept me occupied and sane. Jake’s new girlfriend contacted me. We were civil at first, and then things turned out quite nasty. She was quite disrespectful, but I am sure she’s a nice girl. His little phony apologies. Made an attempt to be “friends”, but he was trying to pull his bullshit and I was like ohhh hell no. I remember getting high with Daniel and Nicole. Colby driving Gabe’s car and hitting the curb. April’s 18th birthday. Noey making us some bomb ass breakfast. Losing my phone in folded blankets. Senior week. The blood drive. April was good to me for the most part. 7/10.
May: The night before senior ball received texts from Mr. Slonecker. It was weird because I still did not know how to react to him. SENIOR BALL! went dateless. Had one of the best nights of my life. No one would believe that I was sober that whole weekend, except for Santa Cruz. Senior ditch day at Santa Cruz. That night was one word: CRAZY. Javier was the funniest guy for some reason that night.. Him and Kristina. HAHA. The funniest memory of that weekend was Daniel and I having no where to sleep because all of our friend slowly disappeared so we ended up on the dirty ass crumby floor. Kristina’s birthday was this month as well. The crazy brawl that occurred. Too bad I wasn’t there to witness it because I was with Zach driving around for I don’t even remember. I was able to witness the cake fight/disaster that occurred after though. The next morning was spent to rent a carpet cleaner, and it did not take care of the damage. Ew, May also consisted of Darian. HAHAHA that is all I have to say to that. Ring pops. Senior project presentation. When I asked any questions Jake rose his hand, and I totally didn’t even know I ignored him. Disneyland trip that I did not attend and spent with April, Nicole, Noey and Daniel instead eating cheesecake.. and other festivities. End of May I was sad that high school was almost over. It was hitting me hard. 8/10
June: I remember most of June just spending random days with friends. Most of my adventures occurred during off campus on odd days. Fat girl missions with Jamie, sometimes Ashley. Going to Bianca’s house to just sit in her room and talk about everything that happened. Getting yogurt. First time at sky high. Senior sunset. Room mate called me on the day of graduation. GRADUATION! Idk how to describe graduation. Jake’s mom was the first person to hug and congratulate me. I didn’t even see him.. Grad nite. Another one of the best nights I’ve ever had. People came over after. I ended up watching the sunrise for the first day of summer. Jamie’s grad party. Then San Diego the morning after! OMG. San Diego was an interesting experience. Some of the few days in San Diego are def highlights of my summer of 2010. Back home then straight to orientation at SJSU. I loved it. I was just really happy for the month of June. I appreciated the people I had in my life, and I was slowly learning to love myself again. Another 8/10
July: Fourth of July at Baker beach in SF with the friendzies. It was cold AF, but when we got back to Antioch it was super hot. I had a crush. I started to think that I could legitimately like someone again. So ironic that as soon as I was confessing my feelings to my friends, Jake calls with a private number. It was weird because I hadn’t spoken to him in like the last 2 months. He ended up coming over to my house and we were just talking. Talking, and then crying for like 3 hours. It seemed like it was good closure for our relationship and he apologized for everything that had happened. The sun rose and he ended up leaving. The next few weeks he stayed in touch with me, but he still was the same. He pulled the whole “I want to be friends, but she won’t allow it so just dont call or text me.. I’ll call you and we can hangout” wtf. Anywaaay. I think majority of July was spent with Justin Russell. We would randomly hang out and always get food. I got him animal fries for his birthday because he never tried them. Random days with Littttle Katie and Nealers! I had massive cheesecake cravings this month. 7/10
August: Last few days of summer. Procrastinating on packing for college. Deep talks with Nealers. I think the random Lake Tahoe trip was in August? That was funny haha. Exchanging college presents with Jamie, I know she loved hers :) Joecel, Jamie and Aber made me videos that I watch when I get kind of down haha. Moved to San Jose. First day of college, Jake called me. He always seems to call me at the most ironic times. I was skeptical to answer. He invited me to hang out with him and his friends in Berkeley.. and I guess I said yes. I ended up spending my first college weekend with him. It was like nothing happened between us. I guess that was good? He told me he and his girlfriend broke up, but I knew better than to believe his bologna. It was nice seeing how his new life was like, and of course his friends like Cheech and Edriss. I had a weird gut feeling though, but I tried to get over it. Instead of playing beerpong and such with his friends we were just on the roof talking about everything. I felt like I had so much to say still, but nothing really came out. This was the final closure with our relationship. He dropped me off the next day, said our goodbyes like nothing happened. That was the last time I ever saw or spoke to him. Gabe’s birthday. Getting used to San Jose and college. It was weird thinking that I was in college. Seeing our school mascot was a pothead. Kayla showing me what San Jose is all about. August gets a 10/10 for some reason it just deserves one.
Sepetember: I started enjoying myself in San Jose. Started establishing friends. Became closer to Meg Thai. She’s a cool gal. Sometimes we don’t get along, but she’s like 4 friends that I have here in one. It’s pretty cool. Most of my time was spent in San Jose. Getting my education. Meeting people. Labor day weekend I spent my first time in Chico with Jamie, Tiff, and Tyler. That was an interesting experience I suppose haha. Random sleep overs in the dorms. Pictures. Hella pictures. Screaming out the window at strangers. Waiting for the DC to open haha. Random visits from Tiff and Daniel. September was chill. 8/10
October: More school. Home for my grandma’s birthday. I think I was super sick at one point where I spent the whole weekend home with a raging fever. Apples to apples and Cranium. Spoons! I was the shit. Got closer to Q-Tee. She’s so funny, I really enjoy her company. Andrew Pinto and our incidents. Making moves on Eddy. Sike.. no but really. Just kidding again. Baby crushes. Tasia’s birthday. Halloween. Never showed skin but hey shit happens. Frat parties. Asher Roth look alike. Grown ass man. Jamie visits for the first time. Stupid Aviation party. October was honestly super random. 9/10
November: Two Door Cinema club w/ Tasia, Gabe, Gabe’s sister, and April. My mom’s birthday. Sushi. Sushi. I had sushi a lot this month. More randomness. Camille and I finding bras on our doors. Baking cinnamon rolls in the dorms. Setting fire alarms off. Tying up Andrew. Making scary videos. Random mall days. Bopping around. Rampage. Making turkey grams and sending them to the wrong rooms. Thanksgiving with the family. Black Friday shopping in the City. I thought I was going to die. November was quite boring compared to the other months. 7/10
December: Finals. First semester of college ending, like the fuhh? Received my grades. B+, A, A+, A. WOOP WOOP SUCKA. Joecel’s 18th birthday party. Move back to Antioch. Belinda leaves us :( Tash not going back to SJ :( Getting my cartilage pierced. The most unChristmasy Christmas ever. Receiving my first ticket, FOR THE STUPIDEST REASON EVER. and now I am here.
I like how I remember the earlier months in such detail, but when it got current I found it harder for me to recall what happened haha. All in all, 2010 was the WORST and BEST year of my life. I lost myself, found myself. Lost love, gained love. Learned who my true friends were, while still having an open mind in making new ones. I graduated high school, got accepted into a university, had my first real heart break, became a criminal(not rly) and a better person all in one year. I appreciate things so much now. I’ve changed so much within the past year, and I would not like to change one thing at all. 2010 you were filled with lessons, heartbreak, laughs, tears, memories. You are definitely a chapter in my life I will never forget because some of the greatest things in my life that ever occurred will be left with you, in nothing but the past. You’ve equipped me with the knowledge, and skin that I need in life. THANK YOU, but there always comes a point when you have to say goodbye.. so adios.
whatsgoooood 2011? I have no expectations for you.